When we left the hospital, the biggest concern of the doctors and nurses was my blood pressure levels. Although they were not dangerously high, they were by no means close to normal. The releasing nurse suggested that my husband buy a blood pressure monitor and that I watch carefully for bad headaches, dizziness, or vomiting.
After being home for a day, I was not feeling very well. I had a ton of abdominal pain, which was to be expected, but my head started to hurt a lot. I told my husband and he said, "We should take your blood pressure." I initially refused and tried to focus on my newborn and my firstborn who had been readjusting to having us back home. However, the headache became increasingly more painful, so the next night I followed my husband's advice and let him take my blood pressure.
I was having a difficult time getting in and out of bed, so he brought the blood pressure cuff to me, secured it, and turned on the machine. I started screaming, “It is too tight, take it off!” He told me to hang on and waited for the reading as I writhed in pain from the cuff cutting off my circulation for what seemed like minutes. My blood pressure was 180 over 112, which was not good. (Normally, for me it is around 110 over 70). Immediately, my husband called the medical office, but it was a Saturday, so he was advised to call the urgent care clinic.
The clinic ordered him to take me to the emergency room. Therefore, my husband, my newborn, and I retraced our steps and headed back to the hospital. Upon arrival, there were very few people there and we did not have to wait very long. The admitting nurse saw that I had a newborn baby and brusquely asked me why I was bringing her with me to the emergency room. My response, “Since I am breastfeeding, I did not know what else to do.”
She sort of grunted and then took my blood pressure. The cuff at the hospital was hurting even more than the one my husband used on me a few hours prior. We asked what the numbers were and she would not tell us, but her attitude shifted and she was suddenly very kind. This change in behavior obviously terrified my husband and me. I was then told she would try to find me a clean room because I was being admitted.
Within moments, a medical team surrounded me, inserted an IV, hooked me up to machines (including a heart monitor), and explained that I would be receiving a Magnesium treatment to prevent me from seizing. I heard the word "seize", but it didn't register at that point.
The treatment was like a torturous out of body experience. It is difficult to explain, but your internal organs and muscles feel as though they are on fire on the inside. In addition, it feels like you are going to lose consciousness or like you are not conscious, but yet you still feel intense discomfort. After an initial 20 minute I.V. of the Magnesium treatment in the E.R., I was moved back upstairs to the labor and delivery room because it was the safest place to bring a newborn AND have every monitor I needed in place.
The next several days were frightening, yet in many ways monotonous. Nurses kept telling me how sick I was, but I didn't quite believe them. The first 24 hours was a continuous Magnesium I.V. treatment and it devastated my body. The medical professionals commented over and over that I did not look well and believe me, I did not feel well at all, but still, I really did not understand the underlying danger to my health. Towards the end of the first 24 hours of treatment, the doctor realized that the Magnesium dosage was too strong for me, so she dialed it back. And I thought the C-Section was bad...
For the first 24 hours and the days that followed, I was literally chained to my bed. The nurses needed to be alerted when I needed to use the bathroom so they could unhook me from the monitors. I received several EKGs, blood draws multiple times a day, and a flurry of medication. A team of doctors came in to discuss heart issues with me and I just could not comprehend what was going on with my body. The EKGs were all abnormal. So, now my heart was damaged. How did that happen?
After a blood pressure medication switch, my numbers were deemed better and I was eventually released from the hospital for the second time in two weeks. I was finally told my admitting blood pressure was 208 over 115. I was lucky I arrived when I did. Obviously, I was blessed my husband was persistent and worried. However, I was told that I was not out of the woods yet.
A follow up a few days later to my internist revealed another abnormal EKG and I was then referred to a cardiologist to receive an echocardiogram. I was perpetually out of breath and stymied by the worst headache in my life. I had never been this physically ill for this long, but I had to take care of a newborn and reassure my almost-three year old that I was on the mend. Although I had a support system, I felt strangely alone due to the intense fear that I would never be healthy again.
Meanwhile, in all of this, I had not actually received personal treatment from my OBGYN. Since I delivered early, he had not seen me for the delivery, nor had I seen him in the hospital after the birth of my child. Instead, he phoned me at home and asked me how I was feeling. Granted, I was not feeling well, but truly, I was perplexed as to what had happened to me. He explained that I had suffered from post-partum preeclampsia. Did he say POST-partum preeclampsia? I had never even known that such a condition existed. I thought that preeclampsia was a condition one could only get during pregnancy, not following it.
According to my doctor, 25% of preeclampsia cases impact women post pregnancy, which was news to me. Clampsia, he informed me, meant seizure, so although it is associated with pregnancy, anyone can suffer from seizures due to high blood pressure at any time in her life. He was confident I would recover and be able to get off the blood pressure medication after the pregnancy hormones left my body. Still feeling stressed, I lamented how the EKG my internist gave me one day prior was abnormal and that she thought I might now have a permanent heart problem. My doctor was steadfast in his opinion and convinced the EKG reading was just a reaction to being over medicated by the Magnesium and I would be fine.
Sure enough, two weeks later, the echo cardiogram revealed only one minor heart abnormality. My internist believed at this point that the trauma my body had been through post pregnancy caused the damage, and the heart would repair itself in due time. She saw me a few weeks later for a follow up and I asked if I could get off the blood pressure medication. Since she was not the person to prescribe it, she did not want to remove me from it. Every morning my blood pressure was so low, I felt weak and was not permmitted to drive. It was although I was placed on newborn house arrest.
Without anyone willing to pull the plug on the prescription, I monitored my blood pressure every day and removed myself from the medication. I have seen doctors several times since making my own medical decision, and my blood pressure has returned to normal, healthy levels. I am thankfully allowed to drive again and will have a follow up EKG soon. I feel so much better and grateful to feel this good. All in all, my recovery is almost complete. Now if only my baby would start sleeping better...
In the last few weeks many friends have asked me about my prognosis and current status. I am grateful to have two beautiful children and thrilled that I am done procreating. Murphy followed me before, during, and after my pregnancies. Perhaps my body was just trying to protect me from damage, like it had some sixth sense about what impact pregnancy would have on it. I’ll never really know why my body fought fertility every step of the way. I do know that each little roadblock has made me appreciate what I have that much more.
With all that has occurred in my fertility journey, I would like to formally invite Murphy to exit stage left permanently. We have had our many adventures together, but it is time to move onward and upward.
No matter what, I will always be partially defined by my infertility journey and truthfully, I am quite proud of that fact. Look how far I have come and what a good fight can win you in this lifetime! I am certain I am not done speaking about infertility. However, for the most part, the parenting adventures are what I look forward to now. Everyday brings new excitement, uncertainty, and plenty of material to blog about!
Wow! What a conclusion to the birth of your second child. Thank goodness you are well now!
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Author
Merryl Polak is the author of Murphy Lives Here, a story about her struggle with the pursuit of motherhood. After struggling with infertility for almost 9 years, she finds that parenting struggles have followed her infertility struggles perfectly!