"We all have our hopes and dreams, and seek to make them all come true. "Murphy Lives Here" is a novel following Emma, a woman pursuing those dreams only to find out her own body betraying her as she seeks to become a mother. Following her journey to solve this life's issue of her infertility, "Murphy Lives Here" is an excellent pick for literary fiction collections, resonating with many women who have also felt such struggles."
This Review is By Foreword Clarion Review Schoolteacher Merryl J. Polak and her dedicated husband are an admirable couple. In Murphy Lives Here, Merryl Polak recounts their heartbreaking but ultimately triumphant story of love and determination as they fight a very long battle to have a baby and become the parents they know they are meant to be. Polak’s harrowing tale of infertility treatments, miscarriages, and attempted adoption is not for the squeamish but should be required reading for anyone in similar circumstances. Emotional and faultlessly candid, the author sugarcoats nothing. She offers a sometimes shocking, but always honest, first-person account of the journey, providing details that reveal how “the system” works and reinforcing how much stamina and resolve are required to successfully tackle the issues of infertility.
To paraphrase Murphy’s Law, “If anything can go wrong, it will.” That same Murphy haunts the lives of the couple, referred to here by the pseudonyms Emma and William. Settled, successful, and ready to start a family, the two are thwarted at every turn. After months of trying to conceive, they innocently but optimistically embark upon the path of infertility treatment, entering a world that neither realized would be so complicated and potentially damaging.
Polak’s account of Emma’s devastating physical and emotional experiences is heartrending. Had her husband been less supportive and involved than William, she surely would have admitted defeat. The stresses and physical consequences alone might well overwhelm another couple, and Emma freely admits that their relationship itself is what keeps the process on track and makes them keep trying. Crushed time and again, but still determined, they often stumble but manage to gather the strength to continue their pursuit of parenthood.
Polak is often angry. She rants and she rages, and others either going through or having been through what she experiences will surely empathize. Murphy seems to hover over her, and her disappointments hit cleanly in the gut, truly worthy of the many tears she sheds. Some readers will not agree with her rampages on fairness, fate, and privilege, but she offers so much heartfelt passion and such convincing evidence for her diatribes that few will be unmoved.
Murphy Lives Here is engrossing and informative, sincere and often heartbreaking. Those struggling with infertility will thank the author for her candor; hers is a rare, honest account of real options and choices and their consequences. The Polaks’ unwavering determination is an inspiration, and the story of their journey is one that readers are not likely to forget.
Reviewer: Cheryl Hibbard
This Review is from Kirkus Indie Review BOOK REVIEW
Polak’s memoir details the trials and disappointment of being unable to conceive when Murphy, of Murphy’s Law, lives on your street. Everything that can go wrong seems to go wrong for Emma and William in their attempts to have a child. Emma, a schoolteacher, endures rounds of in vitro fertilization and artificial insemination with no success. When she does miraculously get pregnant without medical intervention, Emma loses the baby just shy of 12 weeks and has to have a post-miscarriage D&C procedure, which is emotionally and physically devastating. Emma continues with fertility drugs, artificial insemination, IVF and even acupuncture, at a cost of thousands of dollars. During one round of IVF, Emma’s life is put at risk when the implantation of fertilized eggs results in a buildup of fluid in the abdomen. After another round of IVF doesn’t result in a pregnancy, Emma and William begin to consider using a donor’s eggs. As each attempt ends in failure, Emma and William confide less in their friends and family, hoping to keep the brunt of the disappointment to themselves. Unexpectedly, they get a call from an adoption agency—they have been chosen by a young couple having a baby girl. Cautiously optimistic, Emma and William exchange emails with the birth parents and prepare their home for the baby’s arrival. But Murphy’s Law strikes again, resulting in heartbreak for the couple. Polak goes into great detail describing every aspect of the medical procedures Emma endured, including the shots given, blood samples taken and drugs prescribed. This memoir serves as a source of information for similarly inflicted couples, providing a stark depiction of the emotional reality a woman faces when faced with the prospect of never having children. For Emma and William, eventually, the “why me” outlook subsides. After trying a third doctor, Emma says: “Suddenly, putting my life in danger did not seem to be an issue. My life was in danger as it was, because I was living without hope.” An in-depth look at the nuances of infertility, helpful for couples facing similar circumstances.