Being a first time mom is tough, really tough. I have never had a job in my life where I doubt myself as often as I do as in my role of mother. Before I became a mother, I imagined dealing with a tantrum or two, but I also imagined being the type of mother who would just let it go and let my child cry. Clearly, I was strong enough to make my child tough it out at every corner.
What I never imagined is the serious doubt that would envelop me every time I heard my child cry. The sound of my daughter sobbing breaks my heart, even when I am quite confident it is really over nothing. For some reason, each time I hear her cry I find myself wondering if I am doing something incredibly wrong. Is she really suffering or just testing her limits? Is she ill? Is she thirsty? Is she hungry? Perhaps she is just testing out her bratty stage? Whatever the source, I never know the right reaction.
Is there a certain age where I must make certain to answer every sob for her emotional development? Perhaps there is also a certain stage where I must use each wail as a teaching moment and have her build her self-soothing abilities. I do not want to raise a spoiled brat, but I don’t want to crush her self-esteem. Can each decision to respond or ignore really lead to long-term damage? My husband is much more at ease with every challenging moment, maybe I should just try to be more like him.
Ugh, why don’t children come with manuals? Oh wait, they sort of do. The aisles in Barnes and Noble are filled with how-to
suggestions such as training your child to use a toilet, sleep through the night, feed her properly, and more. There is literally a book entitled “Dealing with Bratty Children and Clueless Parents.” Of course, none of the books account for the idiosyncrasies of anyone’s individual child. This fact leads to suggestions from one “expert” countering another “expert’s” suggestion, which leaves me and the general public reading and sorting through dueling parenting tips.
This brings me back to where this entry starts. Does anyone else worry that they are constantly following the wrong path in parenthood? Am I alone? Am I bad at it? Better question, is anyone really good at it?
What I never imagined is the serious doubt that would envelop me every time I heard my child cry. The sound of my daughter sobbing breaks my heart, even when I am quite confident it is really over nothing. For some reason, each time I hear her cry I find myself wondering if I am doing something incredibly wrong. Is she really suffering or just testing her limits? Is she ill? Is she thirsty? Is she hungry? Perhaps she is just testing out her bratty stage? Whatever the source, I never know the right reaction.
Is there a certain age where I must make certain to answer every sob for her emotional development? Perhaps there is also a certain stage where I must use each wail as a teaching moment and have her build her self-soothing abilities. I do not want to raise a spoiled brat, but I don’t want to crush her self-esteem. Can each decision to respond or ignore really lead to long-term damage? My husband is much more at ease with every challenging moment, maybe I should just try to be more like him.
Ugh, why don’t children come with manuals? Oh wait, they sort of do. The aisles in Barnes and Noble are filled with how-to
suggestions such as training your child to use a toilet, sleep through the night, feed her properly, and more. There is literally a book entitled “Dealing with Bratty Children and Clueless Parents.” Of course, none of the books account for the idiosyncrasies of anyone’s individual child. This fact leads to suggestions from one “expert” countering another “expert’s” suggestion, which leaves me and the general public reading and sorting through dueling parenting tips.
This brings me back to where this entry starts. Does anyone else worry that they are constantly following the wrong path in parenthood? Am I alone? Am I bad at it? Better question, is anyone really good at it?