And so the time is approaching, the time of going back to work. When my friends returned to work from maternity leave, they all commented on how sad they were to have to leave their children at daycare. I always thought I would be chomping at the bit to return to work and admired their devotion to their children. They were good mothers.
Yesterday the daycare center invited my daughter for a trial run. She spent almost 3 hours there amid my heart palpitations. What I never understood before I had a child of my own is that it is not just the separation from your child that distresses you; it is the fear of the unknown.
The term, ‘What if?’ has developed a whole new meeting for me. What if the adult/child ratio is too large and my daughter falls when no one is there to catch her? What if someone goes in there that shouldn’t and…with all of the violence in the news lately, I think this is a legitimate fear. What if she does not like the other children or worse, what if they do not like her? What if, what if, what if? So this is what motherhood is like. Oh lord. This is why people stay at home and never return to work. Is this my “aha” moment, because I SO get it now!
How did I spend my three hours away from my daughter? I went to my classroom, naturally. It is easy to get reabsorbed in a teaching career and the time did pass quickly. This is not to say that I spent zero time obsessing about my child, because that would be a lie. My husband accompanied me to my school and stopped me from calling to check on our daughter. He was a voice of reason that I needed, but if he had not been with me, I confess I might never have even left her for the 3 hours…
For the record, she had a great time. We picked her up and she was smiling and happy. In fact, she never seemed to notice me leaving. Obviously, daycare is not going to be a difficult transition for my daughter, it will just be difficult for me!
Yesterday the daycare center invited my daughter for a trial run. She spent almost 3 hours there amid my heart palpitations. What I never understood before I had a child of my own is that it is not just the separation from your child that distresses you; it is the fear of the unknown.
The term, ‘What if?’ has developed a whole new meeting for me. What if the adult/child ratio is too large and my daughter falls when no one is there to catch her? What if someone goes in there that shouldn’t and…with all of the violence in the news lately, I think this is a legitimate fear. What if she does not like the other children or worse, what if they do not like her? What if, what if, what if? So this is what motherhood is like. Oh lord. This is why people stay at home and never return to work. Is this my “aha” moment, because I SO get it now!
How did I spend my three hours away from my daughter? I went to my classroom, naturally. It is easy to get reabsorbed in a teaching career and the time did pass quickly. This is not to say that I spent zero time obsessing about my child, because that would be a lie. My husband accompanied me to my school and stopped me from calling to check on our daughter. He was a voice of reason that I needed, but if he had not been with me, I confess I might never have even left her for the 3 hours…
For the record, she had a great time. We picked her up and she was smiling and happy. In fact, she never seemed to notice me leaving. Obviously, daycare is not going to be a difficult transition for my daughter, it will just be difficult for me!