6:45 a.m. (She calls out from her bed) “Mommy! Mommy!” I enter without encouraging her to get up yet ask, “What is going on?”
“My pillow is crooked.”
I fix the pillow (which is a blanket she decided to use as a pillow) and leave, but then I hear, once again, “Mommy!”
“Yes?”
“I want to give you a hug and a kiss.”
6:58 a.m. “Mommy!”
“Yes?”
“Can I have some water?”
“Sure.”
I enter with the water and my daughter states. “It is time to get up now, I see the sun.”
“No, it is not quite time to get up yet.”
“O.k. Mommy, will you come get me when it is time to get up?”
“Yes.”
“I love you Mommy!”
“I love you sweetheart.”
7:14 a.m. I hear, once again, “Mommy!”
Ok, I might as well get her up now. Out of bed I get a big hug and a kiss and she tells me how much she loves me. But then, she notices the outfit I picked out for her and her personality is magically transformed from sweet, loving angel to nasty, angry toddler. In a whine-scream combination she dramatically argues, “But I don’t want to wear that!”
You know, like it is the end of the universe as we know it because I picked out a pink shirt when her favorite color is purple, therefore, she only wants to wear a purple shirt.
She opens her drawer and with ninja-like moves empties their contents. I stop her as soon as my reflexes catch up and ask her to tell me what she is looking for because I see a big mess of clothing on the floor. I ask her where the clothing belongs and she correctly responds that it all belongs in the drawers. My daughter understands the proper place for her clothing, but at the moment, she is looking for something, so all bets are off. She begins to explain what she is looking for and it is very clear she is looking for a piece of clothing that does not exist in her wardrobe. As true as this fact is, she is certain that a purple shirt with flowers and butterflies exists in one of her drawers. It does not and eventually, she settles for a pink and purple shirt with flowers and hearts. When we move on to the pants, she is irritated because none match the shirt to her satisfaction. I successfully talk her in to wearing a pair of purple pants.
7:25: She happily walks out of the room until I say the following, “Ok, time to go potty.”
Horrified she exclaims, “Nooooooo, I don’t have to go!”
How dare I try to make my child go to the bathroom first thing in the morning.
Tears flow down her cheeks, but I remind her, “What must you do every morning after picking out your outfit?”
“Go potty,” she replies, “But I don’t have to go.”
“Go sit on the toilet and find out if that is true or not.”
She is not wanting to give in to my unreasonable demands and tries to break my spirit by declaring, “I don’t like you.”
Although she has successfully manipulated me I stay strong in my response, “That makes me sad. I see you don’t want to sit on the potty, the problem is if you don’t, you will have an accident in your pants and no one wants that.”
This conversation goes on for a while, but she finally sits on the potty and magically, she actually did have to go.
7:35 a.m. She announces that she is ready to eat breakfast and alerts me, “I want chocolate for breakfast.”
“Chocolate is not a breakfast option.”
It is once again, the end of the world and her response is, “But I want to!”
Incidentally, “But I want to” seems to be my daughter’s argument for most of life’s issues.
After suggesting she may have yogurt or oatmeal, she eventually chooses yogurt.
8:06 a.m. she informs me, “I want to watch television.”
Denying her at every turn I remind her, “There is no television in the morning during the week.”
She quips, “But I want to!”
My rehearsed response, “I hear that you really want to watch television, you must feel very disappointed.”
Her rehearsed response, “But I want to!”
My other rehearsed response, “Asked and answered, No.”
She collapses on the floor in a puddle of tears and I start the Magic 1-2-3 by declaring, “That’s 1…”
Continued crying.
"That's 2..."
She picks herself off the floor and sits down at the table. With her big beautiful blue eyes she looks up at me and politely asks, “Mommy, would you please help me open my yogurt?”
“Of course, I would be happy to do that.”
“I love you so much Mommy.”
And she totally loves me, until it is time to figure out her hairstyle for the day.
Merryl Polak is the author of Murphy Lives Here, a story about her struggle with the pursuit of motherhood. After struggling with infertility for almost 9 years, she finds that parenting struggles have followed her infertility struggles perfectly!